Vineyard Pastor Jeff Heidkamp on Emerging church

http://www.vineyardusa.org/ministries/nationalconference.aspx

You are a God of mystery. I hate and love that about you. I want to know, but Love the fact that I don't have the priveledge to know all.

And who am I to say what I need to know as far as my future.

Lord, speak as you will, through who or whatever you will, whatever you have to say.

as Performed by Jerree Small, folk artist now living in Minnesota, who I knew back in the days of The Space before we were legal.

I love it.

Group Hug, confession website
Some of these confessions are kinda graphic, maybe inappropriate for some. Just a heads up.


I've been more and more convicted about our need to confess as a community of Christians. It's very key for the health of the community in general when we look at how our sin affects the community as a whole.

I think it's a desire we all have to a point...as scary as it is to be "found out" or at least "get something off your chest.

The link above contains people just anonymously "getting stuff off their chest." But how sad that there's no means for true forgiveness. I find the side strangely intriguing, the concept mostly.

Sheep are sweet!

I want a happy sheep farm like this one, with happy sheep...and cheaper rent, and a simpler life. I really hope it works out.

Lord, show us how we can worship in the context of our culture. That people might see and understand our passion for you.

Let us be a church that focuses on those "outside"

Forgive us for focusing too much on the internal of the church, for the interal's sake. But let us be whole as a community, so that we can be Jesus to those around us who have not yet met you as you are.

The state of my brain in video form....

Last night I went to Criterion Cinemas in New Haven to see a movie, "Into Great Silence" about a group of monks who have taken a vow of silence.

"Into Great Silence" Website

While all in subtitles, I found it very powerful. It was a great window into the monastic life, particularly of this order. It was wonderful. It was a great worship experience for me, just to see them in their daily work, and how Christ was a part of every little thing they did, from gardening to washing cutlery.

I would love to put some of these things to work in my life. I'd love to be able to worship while greeting people at IKEA, or even having to discipline the children (or parents....) Who are not behaving well.

It's a real challenge. I'm really in awe of the monastic life, If I weren't the semi-protestant that I am, and thought I could take a vow of celibacy, and didn't find Carolyn who I married..haha, I would be so drawn to such a life.

I'm also curious to see how we can work monastic ideas into all of our lives as a community. It's tough, but, I believe, Important.

"Do Not Postone Happiness"

~Jeff Tweedy


Listenign to Wilco's Webcast from 4/21/07. During the song Kingpin, he says something to the effect of "I've always said this, I'll say it again.

"Do Not Postpone Happiness"

I like that principle.

Lord, teach me ways in which I can actively engage in happiness in the ways you inspire it today.

Divorce is Sad

So, I got my bike, gonna give it another go in a little bit. Once we finally got it put together, it was late and dark out, so I just went for a short ride around the neighborhood.

But that's all as far as that.

Divorce is sad.

I went to interpret for a co-worker this morning for a contempt case, where her husband wasn't paying sufficient child support. Sadly, she had to wait an hour and a half for a court certified translator to come and help her out (not being certified, they couldn't use me) But I was honored to be asked.

So, I ended up waiting with Blanca (my co-worker) for moral support. What an awkward experience, seeing Blanca walk by her ex husband without even acknowledging his presence, having been married to someone, and then to not be able to bear the sight of them. I'm not saying, necessarily that I blame her, or that I judge her for her reaction. But still, the sadness remains.

When finally, an interpreter came, I waited outside for the opportunity to sit in on the case for, again, moral support. But my parking meter ran out, and I just had to leave after 3 or so hours waiting with her. Anyway, it's that I saw countless couples going through divorces, fighting with each other, who gets what, etc. As well as seeing fathers stressed as anything, trying to figure out how they're going to afford to pay child support and like...eat.

What is this monster that has taken over so much or our culture? It causes so much pain, to so many people. It's so sad to see so many families go down the tubes. All the tears, enfuriated soon-to-be ex spouses, and broke and pissed off fathers has left me emotionally drained.

(BTW, Blanca won her case!!! And her ex husband is now going to have to pay all he owes her!) And she, now..has VERY little money, works part time at IKEA in the dishroom, and is the only one who works in her family (is pregnant) and wouldn't let me turn down the $50 dollars she offered me for the help in paperwork and everything I did to help her out.

It's been a taxing day. It's really just now that all of that's sort of hitting me. And making sense as I'm almost in tears this evening.


Lord, protect my family, protect marriages all over this country. Let the church know the correct way to stand up against this work of the enemy.